Post by snowcone on Jul 20, 2011 15:43:30 GMT 10
In Canberra an old priest lay dying in the
hospital. For years he had
faithfully served the people of the nation's capital.
He motioned for his nurse to come near.
"Yes, Father?" said the nurse.
"I would really like to see Prime Minister and the Treasurer before I
die", whispered the priest.
"I'll see what I can do, Father", replied the nurse.
The nurse sent the request to Parliament and waited for a response.
Soon the word arrived; Prime Minister Julia Gillard and Treasurer
Wayne Swan would be delighted to visit the priest.
As they went to the hospital, Julia commented to Wayne, "I don't know
why the old priest wants to see us, but it will certainly will help
our images and might even get me re-elected Prime Minister. After all,
I'm IN IT TO WIN IT".
Wayne agreed that it was a good thing.
When they arrived at the priest's room, the priest took Julia's hand
in his right hand and Wayne's hand in his left.
There was silence and a look of serenity on the old priest's face.
Finally Julia Gillard spoke. "Father, of all the people you could have
chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?"
The old priest slowly replied, "I have always tried to pattern my life
after our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ."
"Amen", said Julia . "Amen", said Wayne.
The old priest continued, "Jesus died between two lying thieves; I
would like to do the same."
Tony Abbot, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell.
While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.
Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a cheque.
Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When she is finished the devil informs her that the cost is 6 million dollars, so she writes him a check.
Finally Tony Abbot gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When he isfinished the devil informs him that the cost is $5.00. When Putin hears this he goes ballistic and asks the devil why Abbot got to call Australia so cheaply.
The devil smiles and replies, "Since Gillard took over, the country has gone to hell, so it's a local call."
On a recent trip to the United States , Julia Gillard, Prime Minister of Australia,
addressed a major gathering of Native American Indians.
She spoke for almost an hour on her plans for Carbon Trading Tax for Australia ...
At the conclusion of her speech, the crowd presented her with a plaque
inscribed with her new Indian name - Walking Eagle.
A very chuffed Ms Gillard then departed in her motorcade,
waving to the crowds.
A news reporter later asked one of the Indians how they came
to select the new name given to Ms Gillard.
They explained that Walking Eagle is the name given to a bird
so full of **** that it can no longer fly.
The Pope and Julia Gillard were in the VIP box at the footy.
Pope leans over to the pm and says ' with one wave of my hand I can have everyone here up on there feet and cheering.
Julia says ' I dont believe you, really???'
Pope says 'yep, everyone'
Julia says,' OK then , show me'
with that the Pope smacks Julia in the mouth......
hospital. For years he had
faithfully served the people of the nation's capital.
He motioned for his nurse to come near.
"Yes, Father?" said the nurse.
"I would really like to see Prime Minister and the Treasurer before I
die", whispered the priest.
"I'll see what I can do, Father", replied the nurse.
The nurse sent the request to Parliament and waited for a response.
Soon the word arrived; Prime Minister Julia Gillard and Treasurer
Wayne Swan would be delighted to visit the priest.
As they went to the hospital, Julia commented to Wayne, "I don't know
why the old priest wants to see us, but it will certainly will help
our images and might even get me re-elected Prime Minister. After all,
I'm IN IT TO WIN IT".
Wayne agreed that it was a good thing.
When they arrived at the priest's room, the priest took Julia's hand
in his right hand and Wayne's hand in his left.
There was silence and a look of serenity on the old priest's face.
Finally Julia Gillard spoke. "Father, of all the people you could have
chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?"
The old priest slowly replied, "I have always tried to pattern my life
after our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ."
"Amen", said Julia . "Amen", said Wayne.
The old priest continued, "Jesus died between two lying thieves; I
would like to do the same."
Tony Abbot, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell.
While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.
Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a cheque.
Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When she is finished the devil informs her that the cost is 6 million dollars, so she writes him a check.
Finally Tony Abbot gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When he isfinished the devil informs him that the cost is $5.00. When Putin hears this he goes ballistic and asks the devil why Abbot got to call Australia so cheaply.
The devil smiles and replies, "Since Gillard took over, the country has gone to hell, so it's a local call."
On a recent trip to the United States , Julia Gillard, Prime Minister of Australia,
addressed a major gathering of Native American Indians.
She spoke for almost an hour on her plans for Carbon Trading Tax for Australia ...
At the conclusion of her speech, the crowd presented her with a plaque
inscribed with her new Indian name - Walking Eagle.
A very chuffed Ms Gillard then departed in her motorcade,
waving to the crowds.
A news reporter later asked one of the Indians how they came
to select the new name given to Ms Gillard.
They explained that Walking Eagle is the name given to a bird
so full of **** that it can no longer fly.
The Pope and Julia Gillard were in the VIP box at the footy.
Pope leans over to the pm and says ' with one wave of my hand I can have everyone here up on there feet and cheering.
Julia says ' I dont believe you, really???'
Pope says 'yep, everyone'
Julia says,' OK then , show me'
with that the Pope smacks Julia in the mouth......
Oooops.