Post by 1wd on May 7, 2014 7:05:03 GMT 10
Paraprosdokians
Paraprosdokians are figures of speech
in which the latter part of a sentence or
phrase is surprising or unexpected;
frequently humorous.
Winston Churchill loved them:
1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you.
But it's still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound,
some people appear bright until you
hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up, we only learn
how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right -
only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit..
Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism
To steal from many is research.
9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was
blaming you.
10. In filling out an application, where it says,
'In case of emergency, Notify:' I put 'DOCTOR'.
11. Women will never be equal to men until
they can walk down the street with a bald head
and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
12. You do not need a parachute to skydive.
You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
13. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure..
14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first
and call whatever you hit the target.
15. Going to church doesn't make you a
Christian any more than standing in a garage
makes you a car.
16. You're never too old to learn something
stupid.
17. I'm supposed to respect my elders,
but it’s getting harder and harder for me
to find one now.
Paraprosdokians are figures of speech
in which the latter part of a sentence or
phrase is surprising or unexpected;
frequently humorous.
Winston Churchill loved them:
1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you.
But it's still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound,
some people appear bright until you
hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up, we only learn
how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right -
only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit..
Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism
To steal from many is research.
9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was
blaming you.
10. In filling out an application, where it says,
'In case of emergency, Notify:' I put 'DOCTOR'.
11. Women will never be equal to men until
they can walk down the street with a bald head
and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
12. You do not need a parachute to skydive.
You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
13. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure..
14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first
and call whatever you hit the target.
15. Going to church doesn't make you a
Christian any more than standing in a garage
makes you a car.
16. You're never too old to learn something
stupid.
17. I'm supposed to respect my elders,
but it’s getting harder and harder for me
to find one now.