A blonde walks into a beauty salon with headphones on to get

[Kev W]

A blonde walks into a beauty salon with headphones on to get a haircut.
The hairdresser asks her to take them off for the haircut and the blonde replies, "I can't, I'll die." The hairdresser proceeds to cut her hair and it looks awful.

Six weeks later the same blonde comes in for another haircut. The hairdresser pleads with her, "Please take your headphones off - I can make your hair look beautiful." Once again the blonde replies, "I can't, I'll die." So she receives another awful haircut.

Six weeks later the blonde show up at the salon and once again the hairdresser says, "Please take your headphones off - I can make your hair beautiful if you would just take off the headphones." "I can't, I'll die."

The hairdresser proceeds to cut her hair. While doing so the blonde falls asleep.

The hairdresser quickly thinks to herself - I will remove the headphones and replace them before she wakes up. I'll make her hair beautiful. Seconds after doing this the blonde falls off the chair. The hairdresser checks her and finds she isn't breathing.

Having to know what was keeping her alive with the headphones on, she places them on her head. She hears, "Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breath out."

[steve400]

Found this one floating around the other day - a little long but i thought it was a crack up.

A man boarded an aircraft at London's Heathrow Airport for New York, and taking his seat as he settled in, he noticed a very beautiful woman boarding the plane. He realised she was heading straight toward his seat and bingo - she took the seat right beside him.

"Hello", he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?"

She turned, smiled enchantingly and said, "Business. I'm going to the annual nymphomaniac convention in the United States ......."

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs!

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"

"Lecturer," she responded," I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.."

"Really", he smiled, "what myths are those?"

"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well endowed when, in fact, it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.

Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Greek descent..

We have also found that the best potential lovers in all categories are the Irish."

Suddenly the woman became uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said. "I really shouldn't be discussing this with you, I don't even know your name!"

"Tonto," the man said. "Tonto Papadopoulos. But my friends call me Paddy."